I got through New Year’s Eve. That was my due date. Thankfully, I was busy singing with my husband at a big event on the harbour. As we watched the fireworks explode over the Harbour Bridge, the passing of the date did not go unnoticed. How lucky I was to be with the one I love that night.
My appointment with Dr Baby-Maker was as I expected. My husband was working so I went alone. I was relieved to be going alone. She agreed with me that it was time to draw a line in the sand. Give it til the end of the year, then switch off. The best way to do that is to go back to using contraceptives so that your brain stops thinking there’s a chance. She didn’t recommend another round of IVF as I hadn’t had good results, although we hadn’t tried since surgery. She wasn’t keen and neither was I. She suggested I look into 2 other drugs that would be worth a try. One can do more harm than good, and the other sounded like it would turn me into a freak ready for the circus. No. I was done with pumping chemicals in my body. It was up to fate now.
I had a good cry in her office and she suggested I have some counselling.
My next appointment for the day was with my chiropractor/kinesiologist. I had been having lots of trouble with my back, an old on-going injury. As he was treating me, he touched the side of my thigh. I flinched. It was tender. He asked whether I was having any period problems. That’s not something that normally comes up at a back appointment. I gave him a brief rundown of my “period problems” over the previous year.
“That makes sense. That tender spot is nothing to do with your back. It’s related to the reproductive system and can indicate a problem”. He suggested having a hair follicle test to determine what I was lacking. By this time, I was open to miracle cures, so I did the test. The results showed I had a high level of copper in my system and copper blocks the absorption of minerals vital to falling pregnant. And there I was blaming myself for forgetting to take my pre-pregnancy vitamins. It was the crappy old house we were renting that was to blame! I started on a course of something powdery and tablet-y and pricey, and like anything else, I soon stopped taking it.
Around this time, we decided to move. This was prompted by the fact that we were broke and were putting our rent on our ever increasing credit cards every month. Not a good foundation for bringing in another mouth to feed. Most people would do the logical thing, (find something cheaper, smaller, move in with their parents/in-laws) but we decided to buy a houseboat. Yes, you did read that correctly. We bought a houseboat. To live on. Not full-time – that’s not allowed. We travel a lot with our work, so we could live part-time on the boat and part-time with my husband’s parents. (That’s a whole other blog if you’re interested – lilpeagreen.wordpress.com) Things got packed and misplaced and I got out of the habit of taking all the different pills and potions. Besides, if it didn’t happen overnight…
My next stop was to visit psychic #1. She lived nearby and was recommended by a couple who had just had IVF twins. She started the reading by discussing in very general terms about the past year being full of grief and loss. I was starting to think she was a kook, as I hadn’t lost anyone close in the past year, when she said “but a baby is on the way soon”. Perhaps my last year was full of grief and loss.I hadn’t thought of it like that before. She didn’t pick up that we were living on a houseboat (I thought that might stand out as something unusual in someone’s life) but she said I would conceive in a very peaceful place surrounded by water. I would know I was pregnant by the middle of this year. She said a few other things that hit the mark, but I refused to get carried away by what I heard.
I have been going to psychics for a very long time. I don’t live by their readings. I listen to what they say and store it away or ignore it completely. For me, it’s more about being entertained for an hour by someone clever. Sometimes I have friends or relatives who have passed who make themselves known in no uncertain terms, and sometimes the reading is based on things they pick up from me. In other words, I don’t get sucked into it. A few years ago, I was an avid watcher of “Crossing Over with John Edward”. I booked into see him live just for the fun of it. I had to work that evening and I wasn’t sure about what time the show finished. As I fell asleep, I had a little dream about having to leave before it ended, and as I walked down the stairs, John Edward called out “Wait! Someone stop that girl walking down the stairs. I have a message for her.” I chuckled, and fell asleep. At the show, I was sitting on my own right up the very back of the Entertainment Centre. After doing a few readings to people in the audience, I noticed he was going to people who had suffered tragic losses in their lives. Tales of murder, plane crashes, long battles with illness. I found it all quite compelling. After a while, he took a break from reading, and opened up the floor for questions. I took this opportunity to duck out to the loo. As I started walking down the stairs, John Edward stopped abruptly in the middle of answering a question and said “Wait! Someone stop that girl walking down the stairs. I have a message for her.” I kid you not! I was so dumbstruck, I apologised and said “Sorry, I needed a pee!” He asked me if I had recently lost a father figure (I had lost my uncle), and then he asked if I was pregnant. I was single at the time – and quite slim, so I was deeply offended. No! He kept on. Are you sure? Yes I’m sure!!!! Who’s the “J” in the family. I’m the “J”. Well if it’s not you, there must be another “J”. After the show, my nephew rang. He was there. His partner is a “J”. No, she wasn’t pregnant…she didn’t KNOW she was pregnant yet. 3 weeks later, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. But I digress. That story has absoutely nothing to do with what I’m talking about, but I thought you might enjoy it.
Now, back to me.
Psychic #2 is someone I regularly go to back in Adelaide where I lived before moving to Sydney. She is (usually) quite amazing. As I opened the door she looked at me strangely and smiled. During the reading, she asked if I was pregnant. I get this a lot as I have piled on the weight in the past year or so. I thought it was unusual for her to take a stab in the dark from appearances.
“When I opened the door I thought you were blooming. I’m sure you are pregnant and you just don’t know it yet. And they keep telling me it’s twins. And if you’re not pregnant right now, you soon will be”. As with psychic #1, she said I’d know by the middle of this year.
Time would tell.